I updated the archive page of my diary only to realize that the month of October harbored a measly 4 entries. 4 entries for the entirety of the month...

I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to start writing more again. More so that I can keep up with the routine I started back in April of 2000 when I began this diary. The routine of somehow working out my feelings on the written page. I must admit that I've grown in the matter that my writing has become less free on the count of me having a freedom about my life that harbors less (mind boggling) issues and the safety of knowing that any (real) issue I may have does infact have a means of working itself out.

Of recent I've been analyzing the possibilites of next semester's schedule. I've made up in my mind that I don't want to participate musically in next semester's ensemble class because it's been made clear to me by God that it isn't the place for me to be. I've also found that I made a great mistake by not making this clear to my instructor early on but... I do have alot of internal conflict that goes with my decision to break away.

I love the position I've been placed in for my internship.

These bundles of decision actually came during and right after my return from the Atlanta conference trip. With everything that I learned, I did much (and still do much) processing am find myself fighting a battle that has me trying aimlessly to do what I know I should do (schedule wise, ministry wise, etc) and what I shouldn't do but could do as not to disturb the balance of other people's world.

I know, it sound ridiculous but sometimes it's easy to cave in when you don't want to deal with other people's frustration and questioning and expectations for yourself but... I'm battling and... I'm going to do what it takes to do what I know God wants me to do.

On a different note, I'm going to watch Harry Potter tonight with a large group of friends. Just last night, Franco, Manell, and Sean spent the night at my house watching the first Harry Potter on DVD as to get caught up with the movie. The sleep over was fun with the exception of Manell repeatedly turning off my air conditioner and electric fan in the middle of the night.

I've already given him his death threats for making me suffer through a night of heat but I'll wait till he least expects it before the force of my hand to his face goes into play. (hehe)

As for now I've got to depart to help for a video shoot at some golf resort even though it seems to be pouring rain outside. Graciously, I've been given a nice New Hope umbrella to sheild me from the downpour. I just hope the ground isn't too muddy.

The Last 5 entries 2003-07-13, [hello world, I'm back!] - 10:53 a.m. 2003-02-01, [a final farewell] - 1:59 p.m. 2003-01-31, [isn't this a suprize] - 12:47 a.m. 2003-01-30, [still kinda sick] - 2:13 p.m. 2003-01-28, [gone and back again] - 1:58 p.m. [ << backward | forward >> ] [guestbook] [archives]